Monday, October 31, 2005

Sallys Fake Orgasm (On Rye)

it's noisy at noisefests where I screened this video I made muy muy recently. I will put it up online and you can gawk. Things here have been cold. I had midterms and 1.00000000,000000,,0,.0p0,0,0k,-0bajpjb things to do. but now that they are over I will resume my life of lacksadaisy leisure. I finally went to the Katzs deli *the deli where sally had her fake orgasm. Actually that would be a much better name for the deli. Saly's a faker. Or maybe just Sallys fake orgasm... On rye. I had a reuben sandwhich which was very tasty and not all greasylike. Apparently however they have a very intricate ticket system at Katzs where everyone who enters the deli zone must take a ticket and present the ticket upon leaving or else be fined 50 dollars. Apparently also if you don't have 50 dollars they just take a slice of your back and add it into the succulent and delicious! Tonight is all hallows eve. Last night I went to this party at this club called 13 which was filled with hipsters dressed in hipster halloween costumes. What do I mean by hipster halloween costumes? Well while hipsters usually dress in a conventional 70's style, on halloween they dress like 70's rock stars. Thus keeping their cool appearances but also seeming quirky and filled with the spirit of the holliday. Silly silly. (but still fun to watch)

Monday, October 17, 2005


tonight as I strolled down avenue A with my dearest kt friend I passed by a ukrainian restaurant known as the Odessa Bar. In the window stood a girl dressed in a grey hoodie with full red lips and gigantic eyes. She laughed and as I passed by the window, my stomach sank upwards into my throat...yes the girl in the window was in fact Scarlett Johansson. I swore once that if I ever saw Scarlett Johansson in public I would immediately procure some kind of immense charm and ask her out on a date. And there she stood in the window waiting for me to bust through the glass and pull back her hoodie in a romantic gesture of indie film power...but she was much shorter than I imagined...and rather regular looking in real life...very peculiar. This is not to say that I wasn't ecstatic, this is not to say that given the chance, I wouldn't have cut off my right pinky toe for the chance to bask in her lost in translation glow. But in the end I just walked by and she got into a cab and left...just another day in the east village.

oh the glory of it all

I wonder if I'm losing my hearing. sounds seem to blend together lately punctuated by the occasional taxi cab siren or dj firetruck...the weather is changing and nobody seems to notice. I finally finished a 500 page novel that has given me a whole new perspective on life or rather what it means to be alive. Surging with creative energy I will now attempt to watch 24 hours of television straight and record a frame every 5 minutes in order to create a kind of television electric injection of light through noise video. Are things collapsing? Or buidling momentum? I've decided to ignore said hearing loss and instead start a new band...of outsiders.

Monday, October 10, 2005

It was a stress and a half darling...a stress and a half

let me tell you about how for some reason when I do any sort of creative project that takes more than 8 hours, by the end of the day my body is physically exhausted.
Like that link for instance...if you click it up there you will see a really compressed video of what I did with Jennie-O yesterday. I need to stock up and chockmyself full of echis and ABCDE vit-o-mins. Then when we go out late at night riding in convertible caddys down electric highways, the icy air stinging our lips purple flakes, our eyes darkened with circles for the weary...i'll be A-ok for whatever comes next. sometimes life is a stress and a half darling...a stress and a half.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Diary of a burnout Dj LCD screen cracker

So last night I Dj'ed the weekly ITP TNO (thursday night out) event at this bar called Solas in the East Village which went pretty well I think. Being trapped in a small box filled with cables, mics, dj mixers, cd mixers, cigarette butts and laptops made me feel like I was in some weird Philip K Dick Metropolis dystopic view of the future.
Flash forward a few (4) hours.
I am left hungover with a burn on my chin and a cracked LCD screen on my mom's camera which is now filled with tons of pictures of drunken nerds. The screen makes this weird ass pattern of these crazy black LCD bloody trees when you press it. I'd take a picture but know. Apparently also break dancing on carpet is a poor idea and leaves scars the morning after. I'm learning so much!
then we all went out and ate chicken salad sandwiches...the perfect end to the perfect night.

Monday, October 03, 2005

It's time jane...our time.

Dear Jane,

So since I have yet to officially document any time whatsoever I have spent in New York, I figure I would just jump right in to where I'm at right now. Forget all that previous fluff. Forget all the drama of living in 5 different hotels in 3 weeks, all the stories of creaky hotel roofs, leaking sewage water from overflowing toilets onto my bed at 7am. Don't even bother with tales of meeting new friends, completing new projects, surviving a new city filled with dirt and grime and crazy people. Omit the yarns of drunken nights, calls to ex-roomates briming with unneccesary tension, cockroaches crawling across the living room of my new apartment.
You're not definitely not going to hear about the time I accidentally ended up in an extremely gay bar with my first girlfriend from highschool... or how I stood on a rooftop 20 stories in the sky at 3am staring at the bright white hallogen lights of the Empire State building. Or the copious ammounts of chicken salad sandwhiches I have consumed, or the visit to the school psychologist (which I will have you know is only open till 1pm to which I say "what depressed people are awake before 1pm?!") You will surely not hear about the Pixies concert at coney island I scalped half-price tickets for after 2 hours of waiting...or the increadibly strange cat I live with named Clementine who negotiates for bits of food in a high pitched whine-meow.
No Jane you will not hear about any of these things.
I will instead tell you all about what's going on with me right now...for once...absolutely nothing. And you know what Jane? I much prefer something. It's time time.